I don’t even know where to start . . . The awful child hood memories or the memories I’ve received as an adult. I have oldest child syndrome, where I do the most for no apparent reason. I do the good daughter thing, I help my parents out every chance I can even if it breaks me. What do I get it of it?! I get my mother always and I mean ALWAYS choosing her drug addict, thief, violent, multiple convicted son over even her grandchildren. She allowed this guy around my children always letting him bring his crack head gfs and friends around her grandchildren and youngest child in her home. Her explanation, “she would never turn away her children if they need a shower or food”. That’s not the case because I remember very vividly how my children and I were kicked out because I wrote her a letter about her truths and addictions and attitude years ago prior to me going into the military. But never has her son ever ever been treated in that manner. I’ve ignored and let go so much abuse in my life and let them replace truths with their versions of lies and abuse but NO MORE! I am done, I hope she is ok with the choices she’s made in her life. Because I am happy with my choice. I will no longer enable a mother who has no respect for her children, grandchildren or family. I will put my kids first always even if that means if I have to cut them off and not enable their bad behavior so they can actually grow and learn instead of always thinking they can do as they please and hurt the people around them. I will do everything in my power to protect my children even if that’s from their own Grand mother. Life is hard, family is even harder and I am no ones escape goat any longer. These are grown adults always placing blame every except where it belongs. I’m done.
When as an adult does one look at themselves and accept responsibility for their actions? For instance, I won’t name anyone in particular because this can be for all kinds of people, but when you make a mistake or hurt another maybe not intentionally at the time because you did not know any better maybe because that was just your surroundings or how you were raised. But then there is the awakening when there are consequences to your actions and instead of placing blame where it belongs you point your finger to another or completely ignore the situation and when being faced with it you act as if it never happened or its obviously someone else’s fault. I want to tell a story about a young mixed girl that was raised in a racist family. That technically was not her biological family just one she was put in to by a marriage. Now she was raised with name calling and emotionally and physical abuse that will never be acknowledged or apologized for, which is fine. That young girl is now a woman and a mother herself, where she is loved and admired for all that she is. Now, those same abusers that she was raised around were of course not of mixed blood and had their ignorance’s and values and assumptions on how the world should work, for instance their white daughters could no way ever be with a black man and if so, they would be punished. Now this lonely mixed girl, the only one of mixed race in the family at the time heard these things out of the patriarchs of these families she was thrown into. Ask yourself, how was she supposed to feel? Does she feel excluded? Does she feel scared? Now at the time of these remarks, that had happened as far back she could remember it started at a very young age. Let’s skip to the future a little bit. those kids grew, she grew, and those patriarchs’ daughters did date black guys and even one had mixed kids of her own. Now, one of those patriarchs smiles down at his beautiful grandchildren with nothing but love and admiration. But, yet that once young girl who is now a woman looks and studies those same people and never have, they apologized for their actions for those awful things they did and once said and instilled into their children. Which by the way if you haven’t caught on yet it was hate. He was ignorantly teaching hate. This is not the only man, nor women that will do this or continue to do this but, in this situation, in this story I still wonder when someone accepts blame and responsibility for their actions. Do they stare at those grand children or nieces and nephews with guilt in their heart? Or do they place blame to others, ignore it, or even act as if they never were that way? It is hard to say, because again that little girl that had been abused by these men and their families never acknowledge their faults or mistakes as a human being and love to place blame where it does not belong. I can admit when I am wrong, because I happen to be human and sometimes, I wish those people or any person with those faults place blame where it really belongs. Racism, hate, discrimination and ignorance are taught, and people need to place the blame where it belongs and accept responsibility for their own actions. People may not say it, may not acknowledge it but it is there, when they look at that person and it may be forgiven but it is not forgotten. But one thing is for sure that little girl who is a woman now makes sure to raise her children with the love and respect all human kind deserves. People must have patience for themselves and for others.
When is enough, enough? When do you stop defending your loved ones? When has it become ok to hide behind a computer screen and argue like a scared kid? That’s what bullies do. I don’t. I do not hide from anyone. I’m not a child and I don’t stalk people on social media EVER. One thing is true though. I do speak the truth whether it is in person or on social media. I have no problem admitting when I’m wrong and when I need to apologise. But I am a good person. I make mistakes and I defended my family when I shouldn’t have. I believed my family when they were just trying to hurt me. The jokes on them. Cause their lives will always be worthless. They all will be stuck in their perpetual ignorance and lies. But I’m setting myself free. I’m letting go of them all. I’m taking my kids and I’m going as soon as I can. If you have a family that continues to bully, shame you, spread lies or degrade you then just leave. Blood is not everything. You can make a family some where else. Don’t put up with abuse. It took me so long to find this out. Soon I’ll be gone and I can’t wait. Stay strong people. Not everyone can be. ❤️❤️
It is so frustrating when people act as if you have all the time in the world. Everyone wants something from me whether it be my time, money, or something. Never do I get a break in this life. I’m constantly running out of time and never do I finish things all in one day. But I am reminded by other they too are impatient and need something from me. Why is it people can be so intrusive, cruel, use others whether it be for time or money, knowing it is wrong. I don’t get it. I love my life with my small family and there are people who just won’t leave us alone no matter how much I try to do the right thing. What is the right thing to do? Because no matter what I do, minding my own business people still emotionally abuse me. When will it stop? No matter how honest and up front I am, when will it stop?
No matter what you say or do people will judge you, lie about you, and even blame you for things they had every part in. I’ve been called allot of things but stalker has never been one. Lol till tonight. I find it cute people think I check up on them when I want nothing to do with them. I’m childish but they have screen shots in their phone from year ago 😂 I just can’t with the crazy. I got enough of my own crazy. I always admit when I’m wrong and if I said something. I just wish people would get it through their heads I’m doing 10x better than they ever will. I’m not checking up on no one and I’m loving my life. I’m just that rare person that prefers face to face conversation rather than technology fighting even if that means waiting a year to do so. I’m patient only in that way. Lol I stand up for people who don’t deserve it and I was raised in a family that never wanted me in the first place. I am human and I make mistakes as does everyone. But I own my shit. Every little thing. So I wish people would just stop. Stop lying, stop using people, and realize I could
careless if you died tomorrow. This family I no was raised in isn’t shit and won’t ever be shit. I am a veteran, I have 2 college degrees, I go to therapy and I know when to ask for help because who isn’t crazy these days but do not ever say I’m a liar or stalker cause those are 2 things I’m not. I defend my love ones and I realize they must fight their own fight. I’m done. And I can not wait to move far from Lakeland. Soon isn’t soon enough.
Bridge Burning in the non-literal sense of the words is something that takes time and practice. I have burned bridges before, you know teenage bridge burning when you are learning about how to become an adult and ultimately a good human being. But adult bridge burning is a whole other level and takes a lot less work than people think. Now, it took practice but I have become great at burning bridges. I not only will burn a bridge, but I burn it down while I am on it so people know I am very serious about the ending of the relationship whether it be with a friend or family member. I like to instantly cut off anything that is not good for my mental state and ultimately my health. Especially, considering how precious my mental state is to me.
People say, “I burned that bridge a long time ago”, well let’s ask a few questions to see if you actually burned that bridge. Have you lurked on their life on social media? Have you asked others or a middle party about how the other individual is doing? Do you literally make up fake Facebook posts to stalk those individuals ( this is a real thing, I knew a person who has these fake FB pages just for lurking and stalking) If so, then NO you did not burn that bridge! No, you haven’t let go of that anger or unhappiness for that person. I have been in therapy for a long time for multiple mental issues like depression, anxiety, and panic attacks, so I find it necessary to let go and burn any bridge with any individual that does not bring me happiness or may stress me out. This means completely letting go of that individual or individuals. That means do not give them a second thought, that means when someone brings their name up you shut that shit down and refuse to bring up such negativity.
That is burning a bridge. Never allow another soul to make you as a person depressed, stressed, or negative. Life is not a competition and there is no one who is making it out alive so dispose of people who do not bring you happiness, strength, or support. Be who “you” want to be regardless of social norms what people think you should be. BE YOU!! BE WEIRD!! BE UNIQUE!! The world needs more of those people. In the end, BURN those bridges with those negative people completely, DO NOT LOOK BACK. It is the best, non- stressful, weightlifting experience you will have when letting go of things or people that are not good for your life or mental state. It took me a long time to grasp that strength and learn to completely walk away from what is not good for me or my life. I have more to learn but one thing is for sure, my life has done nothing but gotten better since I learned the technique of BURNING BRIDGES. Let me know how you let go. I am always willing to learn new and creative ways to dispose of negative energies, people, or things that bring me unhappiness.
Pour the mental gasoline, light the mental match and mentally burn it down to the ground. No one that actually loves you wants you to fail or be in pain. Sometimes, loved ones hurt you but they show remorse and regret and do not want you to hurt or put negativity on you. For those other ugly individuals…. well… light that match and walk away whole heartedly.