What they don’t know! But must be told….

What they don’t know, is not any of their business but some people are so nosey they can not help themselves. I have been that person, who hasn’t?! Well, What they don’t know is in this relationship of almost 14 years there have been great, good, bad, and awful moments. What they don’t know is that not one single sole but two individuals in the relationship know precisely what is going on. They don’t know year nine was the year she decided to take no more abuse. That is the only year anyone knows about because she let it out.

Not letting out his information or past within the relationship but just hers. To everyone now she was now this awful wife, mother, and friend. Because what they did not know and given misguided information; instead of minding their business they were concerned with hers. What they didn’t realize was she sacrificed so much for her relationship. Mind, body, and soul; for nine whole years throughout the ups and downs she held on to his abuse, emotionally, physically, and mentally. The leaving and returning, the cheating, verbal abuse, and personally my favorite the affairs. This was through the first nine years; throughout the nine years she stayed faithful to him and allowed the abuse without doing unto him as he did to her.

Year 9; what they didn’t know is she couldn’t take anymore and became something she was not proud of and instead, the higher road did not look as good as payback. So taking the lower path which looked so much more enticing, made others gossip, lie, and call her names. But that is still ok because what they didn’t know is that these trials and tribulations only made her stronger and therefore made their relationship stronger. She never gave up on the relationship and never did she not own her mistakes, like so many of those that were putting themselves in her business. No one is perfect, but in the end, she found two wrongs did not make it right, and they grew in strength, and nothing was tearing them apart.

What they didn’t know is that this woman does not have mind control over others, she never makes anyone do anything they do not want to do, or is she going to own every one of her own mistakes like so many around her DO NOT do or even acknowledge. But instead, what they did not know was she ended up a stronger woman, wife, mother, and friend. She never once left her children, never not once did she turn her back on her husband, she just was human. Pain can make people do awful things, and it can also make you a stronger person. But what people need to understand is there is so much more THEY DO NOT KNOW! The story is not over, they have many more trials and tribulations, but in the end, they will make it. What they do not know is that these two people are not perfect but perfect for each other. Our grass may need mowed and watered sometimes, but ours is REAL, RAW, HAPPY, LOVING, FORGIVING, AND BEST OF ALL HUMAN.

In the end, what they don’t know is still NONE OF THIER FUCKING BUSINESS!! This is for those that just HAVE TO KNOW because it is so much easier ignoring their own flaws within their relationships.

shallow focus photography of green grasses during daytime
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Burn That Bridge Down!

Bridge Burning in the non-literal sense of the words is something that takes time and practice. I have burned bridges before, you know teenage bridge burning when you are learning about how to become an adult and ultimately a good human being. But adult bridge burning is a whole other level and takes a lot less work than people think. Now, it took practice but I have become great at burning bridges. I not only will burn a bridge, but I burn it down while I am on it so people know I am very serious about the ending of the relationship whether it be with a friend or family member. I like to instantly cut off anything that is not good for my mental state and ultimately my health. Especially, considering how precious my mental state is to me.

People say, “I burned that bridge a long time ago”, well let’s ask a few questions to see if you actually burned that bridge. Have you lurked on their life on social media? Have you asked others or a middle party about how the other individual is doing? Do you literally make up fake Facebook posts to stalk those individuals ( this is a real thing, I knew a person who has these fake FB pages just for lurking and stalking) If so, then NO you did not burn that bridge! No, you haven’t let go of that anger or unhappiness for that person. I have been in therapy for a long time for multiple mental issues like depression, anxiety, and panic attacks, so I find it necessary to let go and burn any bridge with any individual that does not bring me happiness or may stress me out. This means completely letting go of that individual or individuals. That means do not give them a second thought, that means when someone brings their name up you shut that shit down and refuse to bring up such negativity.

That is burning a bridge. Never allow another soul to make you as a person depressed, stressed, or negative. Life is not a competition and there is no one who is making it out alive so dispose of people who do not bring you happiness, strength, or support. Be who “you” want to be regardless of social norms what people think you should be. BE YOU!! BE WEIRD!! BE UNIQUE!! The world needs more of those people. In the end, BURN those bridges with those negative people completely, DO NOT LOOK BACK. It is the best, non- stressful, weightlifting experience you will have when letting go of things or people that are not good for your life or mental state. It took me a long time to grasp that strength and learn to completely walk away from what is not good for me or my life. I have more to learn but one thing is for sure, my life has done nothing but gotten better since I learned the technique of BURNING BRIDGES. Let me know how you let go. I am always willing to learn new and creative ways to dispose of negative energies, people, or things that bring me unhappiness.

Pour the mental gasoline, light the mental match and mentally burn it down to the ground. No one that actually loves you wants you to fail or be in pain. Sometimes, loved ones hurt you but they show remorse and regret and do not want you to hurt or put negativity on you. For those other ugly individuals…. well… light that match and walk away whole heartedly.

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Self-Awareness

Ignorance

 

 

Ignorance, ignorant, ignorantly, and ignorantness are the words I would like to discuss because these are words I have used loosely and without full knowledge of the meaning or meanings it has. I have used those words many times in my 31 years of life, especially as an adult. I find the word easy to use especially when discussing a topic with another individual whom we are discussing someone else’s opinion of different subjects. But before I go straight into it I want to make sure like I had to do, give you the full definition of ignorance. According to Merriam Webster dictionary, “being ignorant is defined as a: destitute of knowledge or education, or lacking knowledge of the thing specified, b: resulting from or showing lack of knowledge or intelligence.” Now there are many ways people use this word and sometimes also in an ignorant way. Now, I want to inform whoever reads this, if you have read this far and have gone through the definition and the different ways it is defined you can maybe consider that there isn’t a single person on this earth that is not ignorant in some way or form when it comes to different things in the world. Because if there was a person that was not ignorant in any subject that would mean this person alone knows absolutely everything in all topics in the country to the entire universe from past to present, beliefs, lifestyles and so forth. Now I find that hard to believe and again I could be wrong but; if there is a person who has all the knowledge in the world, I would love the chance to meet them.

Myself included have been very ignorant at times and probably will be for the rest of my life in some subjects or topics or lifestyles that are in this world. I will not live long enough nor will any of you be able to learn all there is to know what human beings or what this beautiful world has to offer. This is something everyone needs to open their eyes up to, and by opening up to I mean to their own ignorance. What is your ignorance? Where do you lack the knowledge of a topic or lifestyle that you judge so harshly or don’t respect? I have been wrong plenty of times in my young age and will continue to be wrong in many other cases, but with those wrongs and with those ignorant moments I have found, no I have learned to check myself and know that at that moment I was being ignorant and uneducated on that subject or about that person. Looking in the mirror at one’s self is something not too many people do, and this will always be in many cases because self-reflection is very hard to take in, endure, painful at times, harsh, and it can be very eye-opening on the other side of all the lack of knowledge or understanding on your part. I write this because not too long ago I was in conversation with a friend. She was in a time of need for a friend, someone to talk to, someone to listen, and while I am good at those things, I sometimes add in my input whether it be right or very wrong. I am human, and I am a product of my raising and environment growing into the women I am now. After hearing what she had to say about the topic of gay pride and how her father was unhappy, judgmental, and rude to her taking children around things like that because it was inappropriate. I then made the statement that her father was being ignorant. Well, that didn’t bode well, she took to defense mode and stated he wasn’t being ignorant it is just how he is and how he was raised and so on. That conversation has sat with me ever since, and I have to disagree with her on that, because if you refer back to the definition, at that moment of time when her father spoke on a topic that he had no knowledge of and put his opinions and beliefs onto her as what she was doing as a mother and person and saying what it was believed by him to be inappropriate was, IGNORANT. He may believe wholeheartedly what he said is true that it was inappropriate but that is not a fact. Every individual in this world is different each with different beliefs and lifestyles, and it is only IGNORANT to speak about something you have no idea about just because it doesn’t suit your lifestyle. So, her father was tearing her down as a person and her actions, and still, she defended him, which I find normal when it comes to discussing family or a loved one. It is one of those situations where you can personally speak negatively about the person but no one else can. But, I was not trying to be negative I was simply stating, by him telling her that on that subject at that moment, he was being ignorant, which I stick by because by definition that is exactly what he was being when speaking on something he had no knowledge of. Ignorance is a scary epidemic in our world, and people need to open their closed boxes, fake realities, fake roles they play, step out and stop and think before speaking on subjects they have limited or no knowledge of, including raising their children with the same awareness because that makes them ignorant. Which is hard to do at times even for myself. But then some factors can help with this problem as I stated before and that is looking in the ignorantness mirror yourself and acknowledge where you were wrong and fix it. LEARN and GROW as an individual. If we can as a society acknowledge our ignorance’s, our self-righteousness, our egos, and to be always right or just speaking on something or someone they have no idea about the world could get a little better. Maybe that would encourage people to mind their own business, maybe that would allow people to live their own lives in peace without judgment because people are taking the time to learn instead of using ignorance as a tool to tell others how to live or how to think and how to grow as a human being. Life is hard enough as it is and people need kindness and understanding and more important KNOWLEDGE. Never stop learning and growing and by doing so, we can help others, we can be happy and show others love and that kindness especially to those who especially need it because life is hard. Being ignorant is easy and can cause stress and unhappiness on all parties involved. If you can take anything away from this, please take away the idea of learning new things, growing as an individual, and having the self-awareness to be able to grow as a person.